My Life with Trees

The Last Lost Words

2012-01-10T01:45:00.001-08:00

Souls in communion
States of grace dancing
Effortlessly and in joy
The wonderment love invites
To dance, to laugh, to cry, to be
Returns its lovers to a point of understanding

Precious the experience of playful rapport
Sacred the conversation that follows the communion

We remember what we are in the arms of the beloved
That pure light of a passionate peace

12.23.2011

Habits and Expectations

2012-01-09T01:40:00.001-08:00

Funny thing about habits and expectations: we are designed (and encouraged) to like them, seek them, create them, gravitate toward them (both good and not so good) and resist them.

Yes, I know I am suggesting a conundrum, but "read" me out. We live in a world of light and shadow, day and night, in other words, duality. There is utopia and dis-topia (each a genre of writing even!)

Habits are habit-forming (which can lead to Expectations)

How many times have you been encouraged to start a good new habit? Be it to start eating healthier, exercise, take up yoga, start writing morning pages, or drop a non-supportive behavior, replace it with a better habit.

We are advised to seek balance with good habits that promote stability, growth, creativity, prosperity without hindering all of our spontaneity and willingness to take a risk.

We know what is good for us as well as what will sabotage us. Do we recognize the difference? Have we the willpower we need?

I personally have a tenuous relationship with "some" habits. And there are some habits that are key to my very "sanity." And I bet if you are honest with yourself, there are some habits you easily embrace and others you ignore, resist, or openly commit to not doing. There isn't a right or wrong here. There is just what is so.

Do the habits I do honor support me? My business? My relationships? In the moments I realize they may not, I have enough courage to change what needs to be changed in most cases, although not always immediately.

Expectations as well, seem to be an equally mixed blessing.

The Four Agreements is a staple of mine. The agreements as authored simply are a blueprint for a peaceful life, presuming mastery of them is the process we pursue. To have no expectations is a lifelong habit I am cultivating. And, personally, I am more at peace and productive where it matters most, internally, when I have no expectations. I'm surprised, excited, and feel ever more alive at an event of any kind when I come with an open mind, free of hard and fast expectations.

Expectations are also encouraged at certain points in our lives and as a mother raising a daughter, I question how much I teach her to both have them and not. Darn duality!

Expectations arise from habits. Habits can lead to expectations. Some habits are good while others don't serve us well. Some expectation is exciting while too much sets us up for unnecessary disappointment.

In life, in business, and where relating, ever feel like you are walking the razor's edge where these features of living are concerned?

So why all this contemplation?

I'm turning over a new leaf tomorrow, one way or another. Habits be advised, in this coming year, new ones will be adopted to serve the greatest good while others will be 86'd and Expectations, if you don't have something nice to say, I'll be saying thanks for sharing and show you the door!

Positive Daily Affirmations

2012-01-08T23:11:00.001-08:00

The Moon is Full and my heart is too. May we reflect Light into the hearts of those we love who need support as gracefully as La Luna does.

Early Morning Lessons

2011-11-13T02:13:00.000-08:00

Seagull on green grass
Snowy grey landing with grace
More rain to come today

Plump crow on a fence
Takes time to taunt a squirrel
Minding his own mind and path

Speckled gull and black birds
of a feather feast upon
Human offerings left on a park lawn

Raindrops drip from gutters to ground
Leaves whisper before they fall
Early morning silence is silenced by a crying seagull

The Chinese woman won’t smile at me
Walking past me with a mask of a hard life

The path of leaves that camouflage the sidewalk is ablaze
With mottled pieces of fire and gold and crimson
Expressing a beauty that combusts the biting cold

Nature can be cruel beauty in odd moments
Always honest being what is season by season

My prayer this early hour is for gratitude for the approaching storm
That comes to cleanse and nourish as much as it comes to disrupt and energize
That I accept all that comes and pass the tests before me with grace.

11.12.11
9am - Crossroads Park, Bellevue

Dance with me love.

2011-07-21T02:24:00.000-07:00

With love expressed so comes the life force
And gentle love is born as dancers receive
Twirling as though suspended in time and space
Hands touch and eyes speak and lips accept
The pure and peaceful offerings of
Open hearts in sacred communion
Celebrating the rise and fall of understanding

Beauty born without explanation
Purpose in passionate play
A slice of eternity
Perfection

Healing is this dance of love. Anam Cara

A Full Moon Affirmation

2011-06-15T08:57:00.000-07:00

I am a glorious reflection of the Sun knowing that I also am that Golden Orb.

I am energy full of light, reflection and shadow: All part of what makes me whole.

I embrace my light and shadow!

I Am

2011-06-08T15:14:00.000-07:00

I am Patient.
I am Beauty.
I am Love.
I am Light.
I am Present.
I am Wanderer.
I am Joy.
I am Willing.

I am Peace at the end of each day.

One thing I know...

2011-06-08T01:12:00.000-07:00

I am in love with living.

To my daughter

2011-05-06T23:15:00.000-07:00

Young soul loving pink
Grow to embrace blue and green
Daughter growing up

Plaid scarf wrapped about
Her swanlike neck of grace
All things possible

Letter to Luna

2011-03-19T05:03:00.000-07:00

Ah, glorious alabaster orb
I dare not sleep this morning
I'd rather dance the night away with you
I'll dance around your silky veil of clouds
Till sunrise floods the pale indigo skies with
Lavender trails and rose waves and silver white light

You are forever my love.

Remember: The time to love is short

2011-03-19T03:23:00.000-07:00

Letting Go Takes Love

To let go does not mean to stop caring,
it means I can’t do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off,
it’s the realization I can’t control another.To let go is not to enable,
but allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means
the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another,
it’s to make the most of myself.
To let go is not to care for,
but to care about.
To let go is not to fix,
but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their destinies.
To let go is not to be protective,
it’s to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny,
but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold or argue,
but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.
To let go is not to criticize or regulate anybody,
but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.

To let go is to fear less and love more

Author Unknown

Positive Daily Affirmations

2011-03-19T03:21:00.000-07:00

In the wee small hours before the Full Moon, I am ALIVE with love and creativity and gratitude. Like stars in the heaven aplenty.

The Facebook Page

The late night list of gratitude

2010-11-13T09:48:00.001-08:00

For the daughter I am graced with

For the beloved not with me who IS with me

For the abundant health I have

For the supportive dad Bronte has

For the skills I am using daily for my livelihood

For my steadfast heart

For my newest peer connections

For my faith

For my willingness to keep on trying loving

For my growing strength to do what is right

For my typing ability

For my alone time tonight

For my ability to be alone

For my appreciation of my alone time

For my creativity

For the muses in my life

For the friends of years and new each day

For the mother in my life

For the healthy relationship with Sydney

For the lights that are on and the heat that can be used

For the comfortable bed that awaits me

For the chance to begin again tomorrow with focus

For all that I am and have and can be...

haikus of the season part 1

2010-11-09T20:36:00.001-08:00

acquaintances made
in candle lit living rooms
on holiday nights

tender beginnings
the scent of spiced candle wax
brings back memories

to meet and to greet
a bold new year with new friends
i need no other gifts

80% of Full Moon

2010-10-18T00:14:00.001-07:00

Oh Luna.

Daughter was convinced you were following us last night.
As we walked up the driveway she declared:
Momma, the moon is following us?
Do you think so dear one?
YES, she was sure.
Well, then the moon is following us.

I am forever happy to have the reflected light of the day follow me.

I am forever happy to reflect back respect and appreciation for how I love you.

The Scoop About Me

2010-10-18T00:11:00.001-07:00

"I am a grounded gypsy. With boxes of past journals. Boxes...Write haiku mostly daily and think in haiku on command. Don't wear a watch. Love the ocean. Love that I was reunited with my birth mom. And choose peace as my preferred state of being. "

2010-09-14T12:09:00.001-07:00

My wish for today is that your heart's desire finds you.

To meet mid-way in effortless movement like that sweet intersection of the in breath and the out breath.

And in that spacious gap, blissful recognition.

2010-09-04T22:24:00.000-07:00

There is a poem brewing in me
As I consider slumber.

A poem waxing toward fullness
Of memories as sweet as the fruits of summer
Handpicked berries that never made it to the basket
That were thoroughly enjoyed in the moment
Indigo blue stained fingertips tell the tale

And with a breathless smile, I delay washing my hands
preferring to conjure again the memory
of the hours spent picking berries
Without a thought
of the passing time

Tanka

2010-09-04T22:10:00.000-07:00

There is a hillside
Abundant with daffodils
Returning each spring

Recognized are you, season
Upon season, as love blooming

The Global Coherence Initiative

2010-09-04T14:35:00.001-07:00

There can't be enough effort to build community, compassion, and coherence in the world and sometimes the point is to stop, do no thing and BE coherence first within that more will be called to feel compelled to do the same. Why? Because it was the only thing to do that moment. --Deborah

To join the collective team...

http://www.glcoherence.org/

to love and the beloved

2010-07-12T00:43:00.000-07:00

i say to you love
begin again tomorrow
in the name of love

Lunar Eclipse & Full Moon

2010-06-26T02:12:00.000-07:00

I can't find the moon
So low in the sky this night
Full though she is

I can't stop myself from smiling lightly while listening.

2010-06-19T01:32:00.000-07:00

Haiku Trio

2010-06-19T01:28:00.000-07:00

Sleepless night again

Tender thoughts my companion

I DO miss dreaming

To wander my hallways

Of mind and heart without you

I DO miss listening

To the back door then

To slip into the field where

Our dreams play together

Beautiful is this Insomnia

2010-06-18T03:28:00.000-07:00

Love.

The nights I resist sleep do I come here to write to the Beloved.

Dear One. It is of course preferable that I lay back in the arms of love.

And with the company of a joy-filled song, do I celebrate my love

dancing in communion with the Spirit of you

for life
for song
for love
for you

Did you ever think you had it all figured out?

I have no desire to figure it all out and that makes all the difference.

Blessings for the simple celebration of connecting again and again.

Enneagram Prayer of Gratitude

2010-06-18T03:22:00.001-07:00

I am grateful that I live in a perfect Universe and know my own perfection because my True Nature is the Universal Source itself.

I am grateful that the Universe is made of love and that I am filled with an endless supply of love that I both give and receive.

I am grateful that I live in a dynamic Universe and know that I can achieve everything that is my heart’s desire.

I am grateful that I am an individual with my own life experience and unique gifts, as well as being an expression of the Universal whole.

I am grateful that I receive the wisdom of the Universe, knowing that I am guided to my highest good in every moment.

I am grateful that I am supported by a benevolent Universe and know that I am always safe because True Nature is indestructible.

I am grateful that the Universe is abundant and that I am filled with joy and endless possibilities.

I am grateful that the Universe is all-powerful and eternal and that I am filled with strength and eternal life.

I am grateful that because I am all of these I am also filled with endless and abiding peace.

Amen.

2010-06-04T14:25:00.001-07:00

There is a place in you where there is perfect peace
There is a place in you where nothing is impossible
There is a place in you where the strength of God abides

Joyce Bennett, BMsc, MDiv
Life, Success and Spiritual Coach,
Specializing in Recovery Coaching
www.abcsofliving.com
www.centerforjoyfulliving.org

Letter to the Beloved

2010-05-31T22:19:00.000-07:00

Dear One,

To feel so flooded with vios, that principle from which life manifests into expressions of vitality...

The birds feasting on worms with dew in the air and on the grass
The sun teasing us with its soft golden pink light cutting through the veil of fair indigo clouds

It happens in a flash that is timeless.

God is all around
Breathe in the essence
Swim in the manna
Drink till we are in ecstasy

The parting words always

All is Well
Life is Good
We are Truly Blessed

Dormant vitality in me awakens
Heartspace stretches into new territories
Sleeping pain and love expresses itself
Tears of joy and aching are one and the same

Recognition of the Sacred is a Precious Experience.

Love,
Your Beautiful Muse

When It Comes to Writing

2010-05-30T09:27:00.001-07:00

In the process of clearing first, we get to the beauty and truth beyond the mental cobwebs.

2010-02-16T11:42:00.001-08:00

in this world of extremes, we can only love too little.

-rich cannarella

Full Moon Haikus

2009-11-01T20:44:00.000-08:00

Oh, that silver orb

watching me wonder, she

plans to surprise me

she behind cloud veils

fully waxed, potent planet

sensing my hunger

Precocious Luna

you know how I feel about

secrets and waiting

2009-10-25T16:13:00.000-07:00

from behind the fence

flutter of ducks wings take flight

sight, sound most divine

Sunday's Tanka

2009-10-19T09:17:00.001-07:00

Velvet black birds on

Lush green carpets stealing

Worms from their safety

Sunday morning walks offer

murder by crows and beauty

Haiku Trio

2009-10-16T11:49:00.000-07:00

Each night since birth and

to a little girl now ten

do I tell stories

The stories I read

and the ones I make up fresh

still soothe her to sleep

Mama, tell me please

coyote story again

which version say I?

2009-10-01T21:43:00.000-07:00

Two days ago Fall arrived with a cold wind

Tickling the Japanese maple's drying leaves

Morning walks more refreshing on my skin

And clearing the heartspace a day at a time

Beloved time in the afternoon begins

As my school age youngster bursts in with tales to tell

And a late night reminisce of that funny conversation we had over dinner...

Paul Coelho asks: What is Heaven? And Hell?

2009-09-12T17:44:00.001-07:00

And 1060 comments later I add...

Heaven is an ever changing event trapped in the context of time, the day, the hour, a moment.

Watching my ten year old dance in the living room behind me is the current version of Heaven being shown me.

Feeling connected to loved ones is Heaven. And when am I not connected? Well that would be the other side of this illusion called Life and therefore Hell.

Loved Ones surround me in all forms and I genuinely feel as connected to trees and birds and stones and water and the stars as I do my daughter, family and friends.

Trees my sisters
Stones my companions
Birds my harbingers
Clouds my teachers
Water my comfort

To cast myself across the Earth’s verdant and goldenness…Heaven
To be trapped in a concrete city…Hell
To receive a kiss my angel..Heaven
To feel as close as can be in conversation…Heaven
To be isolated from the ones I love…My illusion of Hell

The Alchemy of Love

What say you dear reader?

http://paulocoelhoblog.com

Love Letter to a Rainy Day

2009-09-07T13:46:00.000-07:00

Thank you Dear One:

You are but one of many wonderful muses in my life these days.

I am the cake who likes the icing you are.

I breathe deep again

and in comes the life that is

always around me

Love.

2009-09-02T14:22:00.000-07:00

Dare to dream what you want to manifest and WATCH it show up when you least expect it.

And remember to say Yes to the invitation.

2009-08-28T16:07:00.000-07:00

there are many more
haikus to be born and tossed
to the wind and sea

inspired by new friendship
Fall's season before us all

4.1.6.06 Remembered

2009-08-28T16:06:00.001-07:00

4.16.06

What do I seek for company while I wait

A length of peace to knot about my waist

A gentle reminder that I am not alone

And I always have me, my forever first home

The language that serves this rapport most completely

Is time spent gazing into the soul’s deep and endless seas

And Ecstasy offers herself for the taking at all hours

All offerings shared add to our collective powers

We agree to take forms

Designed to transform

Spinning a web of hope and childlike grace

With a fluid ease, intuitively at an unhurried natural pace

The gratitude that surrounds my heart space

A light, strong, comforting and sacred ivory lace

2009-08-28T16:02:00.000-07:00

It is no illusion how much I love you

Beautiful Soul

Crisp is the clear blue sky

I will walk a mile or three inspite of the chill

For a heart filled with love

Makes for warmth anywhere.

How I would celebrate you today...

Time with you is nourshment of a divine kind...

2009-08-28T16:00:00.001-07:00

Ah, to draw out your poet is my heart's joy

A dance of words today to precede the next dance

On an early morning walk

I was stopped

by the site of performance art

on free standing stone carved pillar

upon a silken web

dew gathered

and diamonds emerged

at the forks of many strands

diamond dust like a pearl necklace made the transparent

visible to mine naked eye

took my breathe away

the sight of God's presence and handiwork

sunday at the park...walking

2009-08-24T00:36:00.000-07:00

all the blades of grass asked

the leaves whispered rumors

the little brown birds paused

all to wonder and watch

that girl reading as she walked

who managed not to trip herself

she's a funny thing, that she is

choosing so much solitude for one so filled with a desire for communion

surrounded by love in all forms

she breathes in the laughter of children

and blows back wishes of patience

for parents who wander a little weary

and prays for

...another year of grace

...another year of moonlight dancing

...another year of sweet health

...another year of music living in her veins

...another year of love finding her

...another year of finding moments to love back

...another year of being light

at the right

and perfect

moment

The Perks of Being a Cool Mom

2009-07-26T01:40:00.000-07:00

1:40am

Parenting strikes me as the sweetest past-time I have tonight.

Tomorrow it may be another activity but for now, I am wide awake and reliving the evening's ongoing activities.

They swam and swam and swam as long I would let them.

They dined like the young ladies they are, complimenting my fine grilled cheese sandwiches as "the best and quite tasty. "

Then they asked for their ice cream.

They launched a movie to watch tossing them selves across the carpet and said,

"Ready for kettle korn. A BIG bowl."

To be witness to a young pure friendship brings the widest smile I can possibly make to my face. And I forget awhile all the things I have promised myself I will do while they amuse themselves. To be an eavesdropper this evening is my dessert.

Two bright and happy and funny little girls are being so present to each other they have forgotten I am here.

Till they realize they are hungry again...

Haiku series dedicated to Bronte and Heidi

2009-07-26T01:20:00.000-07:00

The quiet fills in

with a soft reflection on

a tender evening

Laughter earlier

tumbled down the hallway as

two young souls played

Sweetest this friendship

long will it be a fixture

in my memory

Young girls innocence

and a summer spent laughing

till they fell asleep

Tomorrow more time

please mum more time together

more time together

Ah yes, it is simply that simple. How come we forget so easily and so often and for so long?

residues of a tender time

2009-07-25T01:11:00.000-07:00

Do you like adocavos?

Could you tell me what you think a booktangle is?

Ever jumped in muddle-pullies for fun?

Want to meet me nexterday?

Are you a good ordinator?

Will you answer all the questions I ask mom?

(I hope my daughter never stops making up words: she is a constant source of inspiration and laughter.)

I’m trying to be a Light Unto Myself! But in the event I want to join your group…

2009-07-25T00:43:00.000-07:00

This evening, I attended an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting as a guest with my friend who is nine years sober and an absolute inspiration. The meeting was in a beautiful church and after the large gathering had opening addresses and readings, three distinct groups separated for the remainder of the evening program.

My friend and I joined the Women’s Group and nearly three dozen of us crowded into the churches conference room that was ideal for no more than 15. It was a hot night and given where we ended up sitting, deep in the room in folding chairs against the wall, I knew I was about to be tested.The windows were also permanently closed and the fan at the top of the conference room in the doorway, even on high did not reach the back corner. I knew I was about to really be tested.

Is this not the Essence of Spiritual Living? To be tested and choose surrender to what is? I did my best to simply be fully present with an open heart and witness what was shared, one person after another. I heard in each story a piece of my own history. I appreciated each individual who was truly unknown to me. I was especially fascinated by the women who were knitting and crocheting all the time the program was facilitated. I chose also to remain silent, anonymous and distinctly felt noticed as a newcomer.

I didn’t feel unwelcome but curiosity (without judgement) was palpable and fascinating to me.

And while AA is not a spiritual organization, I heard time and time again the mention of fellowship, higher power, gratitude, and acceptance. And for 90 minutes I did my best to “Be a Light Unto Myself” in a new group that was entirely foreign to me. Conclusion again: Sacred space is sacred time.

I was reminded again that spirituality comes in every color, shape, size and format. This remains my conclusion after years of being a “visitor” but never becoming a member of organized religion. Okay, so I was baptized Episcopalian but really my mother made that call for me at nine years old. And shortly after being baptized I revolted and wanted to stay home on Sunday. I remember saying with conviction: “I can pray at home. God is here. God is everywhere.” My mother said, “You are going to church whether you like it or not.”

And, I’ve been wrestling with that resistance to being part of a group ever since.

Now, Seattle is an extraordinary place with its full range and diversity of spiritual offerings.

I peacefully co-exist with them all. I even give the Mormon’s a few minutes each time they tap on my door. And recycle their pamphlets in the spirit of being green.

I could say that my “teacher” has not yet arrived, or that the student I am is not yet ready to recognize said teacher. Or perhaps my teacher is me? But I remain curious and embrace having a beginner’s mind.

In truth, I have yet to find a spiritual home and community. No particular community has entirely captured my heart or my time on Sunday or any other day of the week. No particular set of spiritual principles precedes all others. In fact, recently I’d say I am on a long sabbatical from spiritual dating, but may resume the search for the perfect church-mate. Or not.

What I do know is I embrace living a brand of spirituality I created thanks to all the established paradigms in existence long before my distinct self. What I appreciate most is the "source code" for all of the world's religions and spiritual practices.

Spirituality at it's Essence is exquisitely individual for me this season. Making living a spirtual existence as simple as I believe. And I reserve the right to join again a sangha that I hope will accept me as I am, rainbow light that I can be.

Reflection

2009-07-21T11:24:00.000-07:00

Somethings are
better left unsaid
For my eyes
will surely
speak for me

And when you
look into me
That way you do
I need not
be touched

The way you look at me, Beloved: perfection.

Lorraine Ellis Harr

2009-07-19T16:17:00.001-07:00

After the crickets stop
evening silence grows
louder and louder

The Red Barn, 45

Dragonflies—
Even if I could catch one
—I wouldn’t.

Tombo, 34

A dragonfly touches down
Leaves a few circles growing
In the water …

Tombo, 27

Winter moonlight;
Between the house and the barn
the untracked snow.

Snowflakes, 17

Burnt-out beach fire;
Rinds of a watermelon
among the ashes.

A Flight of Herons, 30

Summer at the pool...sacred moments

2009-07-17T12:14:00.000-07:00

Interesting observations at the pool…a game of three is going on, two middle school boys and one young adult who is what, an older brother? The Objective: whomever is in the pool must be kept in the pool. My daughter CRAVES to join though they all have years and strength on her, but she is joining in all the same. Only requires a little prompting from me a little to stand her ground. They will be playing this game all summer…and tickles are tactical and strategic at times. She used her smarts once to gain an advantage as the Elder attempted to get out of the pool. She couldn't over power him but she tickled and back in he fell in a giggle.

She amps up her awareness as to where she needs to be. Plus her swimming goggles make her impenetrable when water is splashed in her face. It’s a fun game for the players. And even more fun to watch as she grows more confident in her ability to still make new friends with a simple request she used to do with tremendous ease as a pre-schooler and “Can I play with you?”

Gone for now are the days of making new best friends every time we went to the park. It is replaced with a hint of self-consciousness...little girl growing up...sigh!

2009-07-16T01:21:00.000-07:00

1am again

I linger over silence

and drone of a hard drive

to bed dear child, go

does an angel then whisper

to sleep and to dream

the many things that fill my head

also excite my heart

Stories: Which Shape My Life?

2009-07-16T01:12:00.000-07:00

"It is all a question of story.

We are in trouble just now because we do not have a good story.

We are in between stories. The old story, the account of how the world came to be

and how we fit into it, is no longer effective. Yet we have not yet learned the new story.

Our traditional story of the Universe sustained us for a long period of time.

It shaped our emotional attitudes, provided us with life purpose and energized action.

It consecrated suffering and integrated knowledge.

We awoke in the morning and knew where we were.

We could answer the questions of our children.

We could identify crime, punish transgressors. Everything was taken care of because the story was there. It did not necessarily make people good, nor did it take away the pains and stupidities of life or make for unfailing warmth in human associations.

It did provide a context in which life could function in a meaningful manner."

-Thomas Berry

Explore the practice of becoming ever more mindful of the stories that shape your life and when they come clearly into view, begin to investigate and question those stories have come from, how they live in you, and how they either serve of diminish the quality of life. Discovering, questioning, and revisioning the stories by which we live is a liberative artform worthy of your exploration. Can you imagine how different our lives and world would be if more and more people were to come to live by stories that are more closely aligned and congruent with the true nature of reality - and of themselves?

Thank you Joel and Michelle Levy for your wonderful Thought for the Day. To find out more about their work visit: http://www.wisdomatwork.com/WisdomAtWork/Home.html

It requires self-esteem to receive--not self-love but just a pleasant acquaintance and liking for oneself.

2009-07-13T01:14:00.000-07:00

Thank you to http://www.delanceyplace.com for the daily missiles of fiction that prompt one to seek out and read the WHOLE book.

I was a highschool student when I read Cannery Row, The Log of the Sea of Cortez and Pastures of Heaven (my personal favorite of Steinbeck's to this day.) In late January of this year, while on a visit home to the Monterey Peninsula, my mother, daughter and I visited the Monterey Aquarium and I was drawn back down the "rabbit hole" as I fingered each wonderful Steinbeck offering in the main gift shop, with artful modern covers. And yet I could see my Penguin Classic Editions with tattered corners as clear as I could see my hand before me reaching for crisp copy of The Pearl and other stories. Those were the days, when so many of my dearest friends were as my mother calls them "bookfriends."

In this excerpt, John Steinbeck eulogizes his recently deceased friend, Ed Ricketts:

I have tried to isolate and inspect the great talent that was in Ed Ricketts, that made him so loved and needed and makes him so missed now that he is dead. Certainly he was an interesting and charming man, but there was some other quality that far exceeded these. I have thought that it might be his ability to receive, to receive anything from anyone, to receive gracefully and thankfully, and to make the gift seem very fine. Because of this everyone felt good in giving to Ed--a present, a thought, anything.

Perhaps the most overrated virtue in our list of shoddy virtues is that of giving. Giving builds up the ego of the giver, makes him superior and higher and larger than the receiver...It is so easy to give, so exquisitely rewarding. Receiving, on the other hand, if it is well-done, requires a fine balance of self-knowledge and kindness. It requires humility and tact and great understanding of relationships. In receiving, you cannot appear, even to yourself, better or stronger or wiser than the giver, although you must be wiser to do it well.

It requires self-esteem to receive--not self-love but just a pleasant acquaintance and liking for oneself.

John Steinbeck, The Log from the Sea of Cortez, Appendix, ""About Ed Ricketts"", Penguin Books, 1951, pp. 272-3

At fourteen, I would say I was not quite in possession of self-esteem, but rather that I was still on a quest to find it and claim it like a treasure. It took a lot longer than I could ever imagine. I was already an expert at giving and giving certainly has its place. Hindsight being what it is, I see now I was resistant to receiving, except in the most dire of times. And even then my capacity to receive what I most needed was colored with angst.

That all began to change the day I became a mother. And I am not the first to say that the birth of a child marked the beginning of a new era of self-actualization.

The reality and experience of pure love given and received in a mutual moment of exchange came about 8:30am on January 31, 2000 when my newly delivered daughter was placed across my chest, met my eyes, and clasped my little finger with her own fresh perfect hand. And her crying evaporated as did my nausea from the epidural and time stood still a moment. And there began my sense of self, relative to her, and my new role and responsibility. She would know love and self-love and be given every opportunity to accept herself from the beginning. And that has made all the difference in the last decade for me. I remain an expert at giving and am no longer a novice at receiving. And that new "talent" makes life sweeter.

"It requires self-esteem to receive--not self-love but just a pleasant acquaintance and liking for oneself."

May you enjoy the journey of making your own acquaintance.

Where is God now?

2009-05-15T15:36:00.000-07:00

My father said:
God is in Sari Kamish
Fastening happiness to the tops of
double ladders
So that people and nations can ascend and descend.
In the evenings
He sat outside and looked at the stars.
Nothing disturbed his inner peace
So long as there was bread
And quiet for meditation.

I wished with all my heart
To be such as I knew him to
his old age.

Where is God now?
On Rue des Colonels
sit in the attitude he taught me
An old man
In my ears the sounds of children's voices
Monsieur Bon Bon
Feeling the sun warm
The ruin of my body
I breathe God
In and out.

Pierce Butler
writer-in-residence
Bentley University

haikus after library hours

2009-04-03T11:04:00.000-07:00

to watch a child read
a book wholeheartedly
brings smiles to these eyes

for as many books
in the library are there
so am I curious

who is the author
of this beloved series
known as my life

but wait, today is about something else...

children are restless
and the crocus are blooming
Spring Break starts today!

Earth Hour Haiku

2009-03-28T21:07:00.001-07:00

Candles luminate
Silence my companion
And a cup of tea

2009-03-25T22:45:00.000-07:00

Today, again I stopped making plans

Yes, I will do what is before me that needs to be done.
Yes, I will have tea as often as I am compelled.
Yes, I will eventually go to sleep this night.

And YES, I have the list of places I would like to visit, things I would like to do, crafted before I was reminded through an evening of humor and simplicity and forthright laughter:

Be. Here. Now.

What was I thinking? Oh wait, that was the culprit, I was thinking and way too much.

Today a friend asked me: "Are you happy?"

It was in the stopping to think about it I came up with the yes/no answer.

I Rewind.
Attempt to assuage the part of me that values thinking.
Ask me again, I request.

"Are you happy?"

I breathe in and breathe out. Why yes I am.

God remind me of what it is to be of an age I could get myself about, ask for what I wanted, give hugs freely and say I love you unabashedly for no apparent reason.

The days I made new best friends at the playground
without even thinking.

2009-03-25T10:08:00.000-07:00

Rain sweet rain sweet rain
coaxing crocus from slumber
when may I see you?

come, spring, come

2009-03-24T12:49:00.000-07:00

Robins and starlings
in flight and in song confirm
and insist Spring arrive!

Commence, this moment
burst forth and unfold young leaves
Reveal your deep green

I am done with chill
bones in need of warmth rebel
I stay in bed too long

2009-03-20T15:26:00.000-07:00

You have eyes
the color of a Tuscan sunset
I look forward to seeing
again and again.

No two evenings
ever the same

All wonderful.
Perfection at every moment.

Tanka

2009-03-10T15:00:00.001-07:00

Spring tries to come while
Dry white rain blankets the trees
and leaves black ice

And still the robins return
And hummingbird with green breast

Monday afternoon meditation

2009-02-10T11:47:00.000-08:00

Good morning Poet! The snowfall this morning has driven my beloved robins where for now? But yesterday they were out in full force, golden red breasts and cheerful song that they are.

The robins return
Harbingers of another spring
Doing what is most important of all

Singing between worms
Singing because they can

So many, so many
Sharing the same patch of soil
Sharing with the little brown birds, demure and humble
Sharing with the bawdy Stellar Jay

They seem entirely unaware of the recession…

full moon eclipse

2009-02-08T22:20:00.000-08:00

photo by John Dotson

full moon ponders
gossamer thoughts of beloveds
waxing to ripeness

tender enthusiasm
tempered for the days to come

Ten Sufi Thoughts from The Way of Illumination by Hazrat Inayat Khan

2009-01-25T15:07:00.000-08:00

There are ten principal Sufi thoughts which comprise all the important subjects with which the inner life of man is concerned:

1) There is one God, the Eternal, the Only Being; none else exists save God.

2) There is one Master, the Guiding Spirit of all souls, who constantly leads all followers towards the light.

3) There is one Holy Book, the sacred manuscript of nature, which truly enlightens all readers.

4) There is one Religion, the unswerving progress in the right direction towards the ideal, which fulfils the life's purpose of every soul.

5) There is one Law, the law of Reciprocity, which can be observed by a selfless conscience together with a sense of awakened justice.

6) There is one human Brotherhood, the Brotherhood and Sisterhood which unites the children of earth indiscriminately in the Fatherhood of God.

7) There is one Moral Principle, the love which springs forth from self-denial, and blooms in deeds of beneficence.

8) There is one Object of Praise, the beauty which uplifts the heart of its worshipper through all aspects from the seen to the unseen.

9) There is one Truth, the true knowledge of our being within and without which is the essence of all wisdom.

10) There is one Path, the annihilation of the false ego in the real, which raises the mortal to immortality and in which resides all perfection.

The objectives of the Sufi path:
1) To realize and spread the knowledge of unity, the religion of love and wisdom, so that the bias of faiths and beliefs may of itself fall away, the human heart may overflow with love, and all hatred caused by distinctions and differences may be rooted out.
2) To discover the light and power latent in man, the secret of all religion, the power of mysticism, and the essence of philosophy, without interfering with customs or belief.
3) To help to bring the world's two opposite poles, East and West, closer together by the interchange of thought and ideals, that the Universal Brotherhood may form of itself, and man may see with man beyond the narrow national and racial boundaries.

Hazrat Inayat Khan (1882-1927)

2009-01-18T23:34:00.000-08:00

Dear President-Elect Obama,

My little girl at the age of eight took an interest in politics because in part of you. She took an interest in history and the presidents of the United States when she was in second grade. She's also quite happy that Hillary Clinton is involved in your cabinet and on your team. We plan to stay in tune to what is going on.

Many people are expressing ECSTATIC JOY and others are worried.

I am sending LIGHT and support and LIGHT and feeling particularly calm and grounded and simply content every time I see a photo of you whether it is you beside your Beloved Michelle, or your daughters or your partner Joe Biden. It is indeed a historical moment. And not to be minimized and yet, do you realize what you have set in motion for the likes of your own daughters as well as my own.

No worries shall I have
Simply faith
Smiling as I imagine
What will be accomplished
On your watch.

Namaste

2009-01-18T23:30:00.000-08:00

'Anything possible,' Obama tells joyous crowd

By DAVID ESPO and BEN FELLER, Associated Press Writers David Espo And Ben Feller, Associated Press Writers Sun Jan 18, 9:54 pm ET
WASHINGTON – Two days from the White House, President-elect Barack Obama joined a vast throng Sunday at a joyous pre-inauguration celebration staged among marble monuments to past heroes. "Anything is possible in America," declared the man who will confront economic crisis and two wars when he takes office.
"Despite the enormity of the task that lies ahead, I stand here today as hopeful as ever that the United States of America will endure — that it will prevail, that the dream of our founders will live on in our time," the president-elect said at the conclusion of a musical extravaganza that featured U2, Beyonce, Bruce Springsteen and a host of other stars.

Obama and his family held the seats of honor at the event, and a crowd of tens of thousands spilled from the base of the Lincoln Memorial toward the Washington Monument several blocks away in the cold, gray afternoon of mid-January.

It was the high point of a full day of pre-inaugural events that included a wreath-laying at the Tomb of the Unknowns at Arlington National Cemetery and a morning church service where children recalled the life of civil rights leader Martin Luther King Jr.

Obama's motorcade drew ever-larger crowds as the day wore on and he and his wife, Michelle, and their children Sasha and Malia crisscrossed the city.

"Just another typical Sunday," deadpanned the Rev. Derrick Harkins, pastor at the Nineteenth Street Baptist Church, where the soon-to-be first family prayed.

Of course it was anything but — a run-up, in fact, to the first inauguration of an African-American president in a nation founded by slave-owners.

Obama's aides said he was readying an inaugural address that would stress twin themes of responsibility and accountability, and they predicted he would devote his first week in office to economic recovery, setting in motion a 16-month troop withdrawal from Iraq and decreeing a code of ethics for his administration.

With the economy weak and growing weaker, banks in trouble and joblessness rising, Obama's team was careful to warn against any expectation that he would be a miracle worker once in office. "I think it's fair to say that it's going to take not months but years to really turn this around," said David Axelrod, a political strategist expected to have White House space mere paces from the Oval Office.

Obama said as much in his own brief remarks. "I won't pretend that meeting any one of these challenges will be easy. It will take more than a month or a year, and it will likely take many," he said.

He stood alone at the base of the steps before the statue of a seated Lincoln looking out at a crowd every bit as large as the one King addressed a generation earlier in his "I have a dream" speech that was a defining moment of the civil rights era.

An even larger audience is forecast for the inauguration outside the Capitol on Tuesday, with estimates running into the millions. Agencies in charge of logistics and security said they would enforce a ban on personal auto traffic across the Potomac River bridges from Virginia into Washington and seal off a large portion of the downtown area. Access to buildings along the Inaugural parade route down Pennsylvania Avenue was limited to those who gained Secret Service approval in advance.

Obama's day began at the Tomb of he Unknowns at Arlington National cemetery, where he and Vice President-elect Joseph Biden laid a wreath in memory of fallen heroes. The two men placed their hands over their hearts as a uniformed bugler played taps in a somber opening to a festive day.

The scene was quite different at the church a few miles away, where the congregation erupted in applause when Obama and his family walked to their seats.

"Understand that God has prepared you, and God has placed you, and God will not forsake you," Harkins told the incoming president.

Children sang and spoke selected readings that recalled King, killed in 1968.

"Martin Luther King walked so that Barack Obama could run," said one boy. "Barack Obama ran so that all children could fly," added another, standing a few feet away from the first African-American ever elected president.

At the Lincoln Memorial a few hours later, King's son, Martin Luther King III, had a brief speaking role.

For the most part, the program was a festival of music, the songs chosen to make their points. Mary J. Blige sang, "Lean on Me," Springsteen performed "The Rising," and Obama mouthed the words as 89-year-old Pete Seeger pitched in with "This Land is Your Land."

Many in the crowd sang along with Beyonce's soulful finale, "America the Beautiful."

In film clips at earlier moments, Obama was cast as heir to Franklin Delano Roosevelt, John F. Kennedy and even Lincoln, who the president-elect said was "the man who in so many ways made this day possible."

As Obama moved around town in a pre-inaugural motorcade, his aides blanketed Sunday's interview programs.

With the nation facing the most difficult economic crisis since the Great Depression, they all agreed that recovery was the principal challenge facing the new president.

"What's important ... is ensuring that those that have had the short end of the stick for the last few years — make sure that they get the help that they need, that this administration begins to create the jobs and give some financial stability to families so that they can feel hopeful about going forward," said Robert Gibbs, who will serve as Obama's White House press secretary.
"Three million, 4 million jobs is going to make a very big difference," said Lawrence Summers, a top economic adviser to the incoming president, referring to the goal Obama has set. "It all depends on psychology, but we are going to be leaning forward throughout this administration. The president's made it clear that our errors are not going to be of standing back."

The Democratic-controlled Congress has already made a quick start on the president's recovery program, clearing the way for use of the second $350 billion for the financial industry bailout created last fall, and launching an $825 billion stimulus measure. Democratic leaders have pledged to have the legislation ready for Obama's signature by mid-February.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., also endorsed Obama's call for a summit meeting to begin controlling spending on huge government benefit programs such as Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid. She said even benefit cuts should be included as an option for discussion. "You put everything on the table. The only thing we didn't want to put on the table is eliminating" the programs, she added.

The Senate appears ready to confirm several of Obama's Cabinet appointees as soon as he signs the formal nomination paperwork on Tuesday, although not everything has been smooth for Obama and his transition team.

Treasury Secretary-designate Timothy Geithner's confirmation has been delayed for at least a few days because of his disclosure that he had failed to pay some federal taxes earlier in the decade. Bill Richardson withdrew as Obama's commerce secretary choice because of a grand jury investigation in New Mexico, where he is governor, and Obama himself was tripped up by controversy surrounding the appointment of his successor in the Senate.

Sen. Roland Burris, D-Ill., was sworn in Thursday — and swiftly voted with Obama to release the bailout funds. The president-elect and Senate Democrats had initially balked at allowing him to take the seat, saying his appointment was tainted because Gov. Rod Blagojevich faces criminal charges that he sought something in return for appointing Obama's successor.

Incoming White House chief of staff Rahm Emanuel said in a televised interview that in his conversations with the governor, Blagojevich did not seek anything improper.

Pelosi and Gibbs appeared on Fox; Summers on CBS; Axelrod on ABC and Emanuel on NBC.

2009-01-15T01:28:00.000-08:00

"Tis late Love, head to bed," I've told myself. An hour has passed since I offered that wisdom to myself. My inner child has no interest in sleep.
Why won't I go?
Why don't I go?

And miss something when there is so much living going on in the thick, night air.

Who wants to play?

Moon is a waning moon as my energy waxes; 1:30am approaches.

Active is my mind
Vibrant is this heart I carry
Dancing on my breast

How I love to love
With a joy and a glory
each breath is heaven

Could I sleep?
Will I dream?
Shall I wake?

To dance through another day?
Who will dance with me awhile?

I will enter stage left and you Beloved from stage right
And in the middle somewhat elevated we shall meet again.

2009-01-14T23:55:00.000-08:00

The real reason for doing good works and leading a dedicated life should be because it is the outward and visible sign of an inward and invisible grace ~ Ursula Roberts

So who I ask is Ursula Roberts and consult Wikipedia...coming up with a little but not a lot.

Susan Miles
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Susan Miles was the nom de plume of Ursula Wyllie Roberts (1887-1975). She was born in India, where her father was a colonel in the British military.
Miles published Dunch (1918), Annotations (1922), Little Mirrors (not dated, 1923?), The Hares (1924), News! News! (date?) and Rainbows (1962) as well as the more famous novel in verse Lettice Delmer (1958, reprinted 2002), two novels and a biography of her husband Portrait of a Parson (1955). She also edited Childhood in Verse and Prose (1923).
This article about a poet from the United Kingdom is a stub.
You can help Wikipedia by expanding it.

I can try....I love research...

2009-01-14T22:53:00.000-08:00

Everyone carries with them at least one and probably more pieces to someone else's puzzle. Sometimes they know it, sometimes they don't. And when you present your piece, which is worthless to you, to another whether you know it or not, whether they know it or not, you are a messenger from the Most High ~ Rabbi Lawrence Kushner

***********************

I am here for whom?
To do what with whom?
But of course for you.

And joy comes again
As tears wash my face

And a gaze tells a story that no words ever can.

Silence, impeccable as fresh snow
Offers space for love to sweep in
and occupy the best seat in the house

Thoughts for the Day

2008-12-22T11:50:00.000-08:00

This week the whirling dervishes of the Mevlevi Order celebrated the Shebi-aru Sema in commemoration of Rumi's passing - "the wedding night of the Beloved."

In that spirit I offer the following reflections...
"When you eventually see through the veils to how things really are,you will keep saying again and again,this is certainly not like we thought it was!"-Mevlana Jalaluddin Rumi

"No one knows what makes the soul wake up so happy! Maybe a dawn breeze has blown the veil from the face of God." - Rumi

Suleyman Hayati Dede, 'grandfather of the dervishes,' described the meditation practice of "the Turn" as follows:

"We do not turn for ourselves. We turn around in the way we do so that the light of God may descend upon the earth. As you act as a conduit in the Turn, the light comes through the right hand, and the left hand brings it into this world."

"Love is that flame that once kindled burns everything,and only the mystery and the journey remain."-- Rumi

And who is this aliveness

2008-11-23T03:05:00.000-08:00

I am.

Self-contained heat and passion
I am like the ember in the fire pit
End of the day, heard so much
Took it all in and gave heat back.

Before becoming ashes again; one with earth

Seed.

Self contained wisdom and beauty
Then came the sun and the rain
And the dark soil softened my skin
And I burst forth a white crocus

Too soon picked by a child; happy to be chosen.

Song.

A woman wrapped her arms about a tree
and sang me all of once
I was released and returned to heaven
by way of the wind

What more could I ask for?

2008-11-19T21:04:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time, I, Chuang Chou, dreamt I was a butterfly, fluttering hither and thither, to all intents and purposes a butterfly. I was conscious only of my happiness as a butterfly, unaware that I was Chou. Soon I awaked, and there I was, veritably myself again. Now I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly, dreaming I am a man.

Chuang Tsu

Love and Release

2008-09-28T21:57:00.000-07:00

To love and be loved
To hold and be held
To attend to and be attended to so sweetly
To have direct experience
of the core of all that one desires so fully

Who would say no to this offering?
Knowing it is to be bittersweet in the earthly plane

I will tell myself as many times as I must

I love and release
I love and release
I love and release

And the taste of honey
is on my tongue once more

And I know I have been visited again
by the Spirit of Guidance

The Peace of Wild Things

2008-09-28T21:20:00.000-07:00

When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting for their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.

By Wendell Berry

haikus for the dulcimer

2008-09-28T21:13:00.000-07:00

Off center, golden
stonework crawls up the walls
ivy vines made of shale

108 strings to tune
a devotional practice
tuning in for God

A few missed notes
part of the beauty that is
true live music played

8.17.08

Hope and Optimism

2008-09-21T13:04:00.000-07:00

"The difference between hope and optimism: Optimism is based on the facts - it looks pretty good out there and it's going to get better. Whereas hope - it doesn't look good at all, but we're going to take the leap of faith to create new visions based on possibilities that become contagious to encourage people to engage in rogue actions always against the odds, no guarantee whatsoever, that's hope."- Cornel West

How often has hope served me. -Deborah

haikus after morning's walking meditation

2008-09-16T08:46:00.000-07:00

morning's light falls soft
on dewed grass that calls to birds
the worms await you

messenger birds seek
and find with every inquiry
fresh morsels of life

would i rather be
the bird or the worm this morn
eating or eaten?

so long as i am
moving toward the One i have
no real preference

Farewell to Goldbar 8.18.08

2008-08-26T03:46:00.001-07:00

Moon waning for good
where visits to this sacred site
are concerned. Tears fall.

2008-08-26T02:10:00.000-07:00

May my body be
a truth-filled barometer
vessel for spirit

Vessel and Spirit
may they be a love match
as bride and bridegroom

Tender is the morning
that follows lost innocence
when love visited

And truth gave birth to truth

the vision...the mission

2008-08-15T17:00:00.000-07:00

I am ecstatic Sacred Witness,
Peaceful Calming PRESENCE,
Transparent, Connected,
QUIET STRENGTH.

I am EMPATHIC PRIESTESS and POET.
I shimmer Divinity.

As Graceful Power
my purpose is to honor and surrender my sorrow,
embrace and express JOY,
and dance with the Divine.

2008-08-15T16:57:00.001-07:00

so much listening
what swims below the surface
breakwater holds joy

for joan

2008-08-15T16:54:00.001-07:00

Butterfly lightness
Color seeking to express
Itself, this is you.

haiku dialogue

2008-08-09T12:32:00.000-07:00

finally, you come
opening wide, crying out
new pearls, haiku-dew

dear anonymous:

and who are you that
you write so beautifully
hide not, poet, friend

to be continued, pretty please

haiku trio for you

2008-08-05T01:00:00.001-07:00

Moon waxing toward full
a fine time for new ventures
maple leaves are gossips

Let come to pass the
last days of summer gestures
foretelling sweet tales

And kindred souls pick
summer berries till the gloaming
for breakfast in bed

Meditation for the Day

2008-06-06T09:01:00.000-07:00

23. Prayer (the Transformation Tarot)

Love and the law of Moses

Let your gestures be alive, spontaneous. Let your own awareness decide your lifestyle, life pattern. Don't allow anybody else to decide it. That is a sin, to allow anybody else to decide it.

Why is it a sin?--because you will never be in it. It will remain superficial, it will be hypocrisy. Don't ask anybody how to pray. Let the moment decide, let the moment be decisive, and the truth of the moment should be your prayer. And once you allow the truth of the moment to possess you, you will start growing and you will know tremendous beauties of prayer. You have entered on the path.

A famous story about Moses: He was passing through a forest and he saw a man praying. The man was saying such absurd things that Moses had to stop. What the man was saying was profane, sacrilegious. He was saying, "God, you must be feeling sometimes very alone--I can come and be always with you like a shadow. Why suffer loneliness when I am here? And I am not a useless person either--I will give you a good bath, and I will take all the lice from your hair and your body..."

Lice?! Moses could not believe his ears: what is this man talking about? "And I will cook food for you--everybody likes what I cook. And I will prepare your bed and I will wash your clothes. When you are ill I will take care of you. I will be a mother to you, a wife to you, a servant, a slave--I can be all kinds of things. Just give me a hint so I can come..."

Moses stopped him and said, "What are you doing? To whom are you talking? Lice in God's hair? He needs a bath? Stop this nonsense! This is not prayer. God will be offended by you." Looking at Moses, the man fell at his feet. He said, "I am sorry. I am an illiterate, ignorant man. I don't know how to pray. Please, you teach me!"

So Moses taught him the right way to pray, and he was very happy because he had put a man on the right track. Happy, puffed up in his ego, Moses went away. And when he was alone in the forest, a thundering voice came from the sky and said, "Moses, I have sent you into the world to bring people to me, to bridge people with me, but not to take my lovers away from me. And that's exactly what you have done. That man is one of the most intimate to me. Go back and apologize. Take your prayer back! You have destroyed the whole beauty of his dialogue. He is sincere, he is loving. His love is true. Whatsoever he was saying, he was saying from his heart, it was not a ritual. Now what you have given to him is just a ritual. He will repeat it but it will be only on the lips; it will not be coming from his being."

on having faith

2008-06-05T20:38:00.000-07:00

in the wee hours
amid the thick night airs
come the changes

changes of heart and
shadows taking form grow full
but I stay the course

telling not a one
of my deep concerns, unfounded
for I still believe

I believe in love
grace visits those who hold true
as sunlight at dawn

dark nights and bad dreams
have no power here, for peace
moved in for good

the memory of all that

2008-06-05T20:32:00.000-07:00

no, no they can't take that away from me

and my mind takes a wander
down a memory lane
remembering all the same
things said and done
for love

i sang to the trees
i kissed the wind
i wrote the words
my heart declared
my soul confirmed

and day did come
as night did pass

the memory of all that
no, they can't take that away

KEEPING QUIET ~ Pablo Neruda

2008-06-05T20:27:00.000-07:00

Now we will count to twelve and we will all keep still.

For once on the face of the earth,

let's not speak in any language;

let's stop for a second,

and not move our arms so much.

It would be an exotic moment

without rush, without engines;

we would all be together in a sudden strangeness.

Fisherman in the cold sea would not harm whales

and the man gathering salt would not look at his hurt hands.

Those who prepare green wars,

wars with gas, wars with fire,

victories with no survivors,

would put on clean clothes and walk about with their brothers

in the shade, doing nothing.

What I want should not be confused with total inactivity.

Life is what it is about.....

If we were not so single minded about keeping our lives moving,

and for once could do nothing,

perhaps a huge silence might interrupt this sadness

of never understanding ourselvesand of threatening ourselves with death.

Perhaps the earth can teach us,

as when everything seems dead in winter and later proves to be alive.

Now I'll count up to twelve

and you keep quiet and I will go

an inventory of a restless soul

2008-05-26T00:57:00.000-07:00

1am and i am taking note
of the angel of courage on my desktop
beside the iron pig statue with wings
i bought for myself to celebrate
my commitment to self-employment
one piece of apophyllite to keep me clear in all my conversations
a chipped statuette of a bride and groom
the one memento i've got of my great-grandmother
the one i loved so dearly
more than any other relative
buddha in a mandala
a kindergarten photo of my dear child
with a smirk that makes you wonder
what does she know already?
and i pray she remembers
a plaster mother mary 1-1/2" tall with fine details
a string of seven red buddha beads
and a japanese bell to mark each day
tomorrow's mail to post
and a pile of chinese fortune cookie treasures
promising health and wealth
"in bed"

an altar have i made
of this desk i write at and work at
long and happy hours
surrounded by old friends and new hopes

the perc test

2008-05-26T00:53:00.000-07:00

testing soil
can be simple
you might have to wait
10 minutes

or a day and a night
for the soil's reply to water

percolation goes on in my head
long after the soil responds
or doesn't

loam, clay, sand, pebbles
what am I?
what are you?

perhaps together we can offer a young plant a place to grow?

2008-05-23T10:11:00.001-07:00

The Real Work

It may be that when we no longer know what to do
we have come to our real work,
and that when we no longer know which way to go
we have come to our real journey.

The mind that is not baffled is not employed.The impeded stream is the one that sings.

- © Wendell Berry

to the muses of my blessed life

2008-05-13T16:44:00.000-07:00

Rain beautiful rain
creates many good reasons
to stay close to home
and many wonderful things
need no more than two good friends

i.
canopy of trees
heavy with leaves and
tomorrow's flowers

ii.
trees that bear no fruit
are yielding still to beauty
by simply blooming

iii.
gentle rain could soak
my warm skin like thirsty soil
if I but step outside

to walk and wander
not aimlessly, but freely
with sweet intentions

a great intelligence
keeps me company, all times
all seasons, so fair

2008-05-08T23:34:00.000-07:00

When I choose letting go
and I see how wise I am actually being
I look around for what next to release

Confident and trusting completely
this grand intelligence that will send back
that intended to keep me company a while.

Quiet vitality poured into an empty vessel
long empty of wine or water
life's waters spilled over the top in moments
thirsty earth and heart and grass and seeds
drank deeply and bloomed

Oh how they all bloomed
Look at what spring has brought in for the dinner table
and look who joins us

night after day after night

To All the Ones I've Loved Before

2008-04-07T20:44:00.001-07:00

(This is not a tribute to Willie Nelson, although I did enjoy the outdoor concert several years back. He's a consummate performer, deep into his 70s and going strong.)

Rather, it is an open letter to the Ones I've ever had the fortune
of serendipitously meeting
only then to fall in love with,
fall out of love with,
never to speak again
or ever after friends,
fields will go fallow and after a frozen winter and a muddy spring,
crocuses would bloom again that I could see THEM for all their beauty and oh the blessings!

And then it comes to me: "I have yet to mortally die because of a broken heart. What a thing to celebrate!"

"I have yet to die because of a broken expectation set by me? What a sweet and glorious revelation."

"Will I ever be able to love again in the same crooked way?"

I suspect not.

I may go to a fallow place a while
I will surrender my body to the earth again
Oh Gaia that my tears can nourish seeds in the soil
That I might cocoon awhile
Wrap myself in self-generated silk
Sleep awhile
That I might emerge for yet another season

A butterfly with a simple mission.

If you know how to love...

2008-04-07T20:36:00.000-07:00

If you love, you will know that everything
begins and everything ends,
and there is a time for beginning
and there is a time for ending,
and there is no wound in it.

One is not wounded, one simply knows the season is over.
One is not in despair, one simply understands and one thanks the other:

"You gave me so many beautiful gifts. You gave me new visions of life, you opened a few windows I might never have opnede on my own.
Now the time has come that we separate and our ways part."

Not in anger, not in rage, not with a grudge,
not with any complaint,
but with tremendous gratitute,
with great love,
with thankfulness of heart.

If you know how to love,
you will know how to separate.

Osho

A new year's eve memory

2008-01-01T15:37:00.000-08:00

I find myself with one more hour to do as I please
And how might I spend this time?
I've quizzed myself and aced it!
Sitting very still a while
Drinking in the silence
Capturing like fireflies, a wishlist for the coming months
Releasing a spider that found it's way in from the cold
One last cup of tea to sip this year
A final wash up of cups and teapot
A deep intake of night air to fuel and color what dreams may come
Bedtime rituals sacred and mundane
Make for yet again another memorable slumber

holiday in haiku

2007-12-23T15:18:00.000-08:00

will the rain become
snow, falling softly in time
for christmas morning?

my little one asks
she'd have it no other way
it's top on her list

this morning she sang
in choir with hands and fingers
silent night in signs

we offered standing
ovations with feathery
fingers, light as snow

silver bells and colored lights
pale beside the glow of this quiet song

to you dear reader, deep gratitude

Thanks-for-giving

2007-11-21T12:24:00.000-08:00

A morning walk with
soft sunlight on green grasses
a lake of living

Lover singing in
the foreground of the day
happiness contagious

Tom calling early
sweet gratitude for that call
on this Wednesday

Silly am I for
discerning the calls today
are more love filled

Spacious is mood
Tender the blue with creamed clouds
Dancing like they do

When might we walk again?
When might we rest in the grasses?
To watch the sky a while?

2007-11-14T14:27:00.000-08:00

Possibility: Possibility is all that can be. There is possibility beyond what seems reasonable, predictable, comfortable, or attainable.

Responsibility: Being responsible leaves people at the source of their lives, at choice, and able to act effectively.

Integrity & Well-Being: Integrity and Well-Being are the foundation to having a life or business that works. Fundamental to integrity are completion and authenticity. Fundamental to well-being is self-care.

Essence: People have a pure, essential nature. Operating from this place, people create extraordinary relationships and unprecedented results in their lives.

Love: Love is what exists naturally within and between people. Removing the barriers to the experience of this love profoundly alters the quality of people's lives.

2007-07-11T00:48:00.000-07:00

It's been a melt in your mouth
kind of day and I'd take a second helping.